Sunday, May 30, 2010

So much to say, no motivation to say it...

Sitting at the computer for more than 5 minutes, is suddenly a very unappealing activity for me.  The right side of my ribcage aches when I am sitting (thanks Emersyn!), and to be honest, my brain just is NOT working...

So this is the end of pregnancy.. discomfort, brain working at 1/4 power..  no motivation to do anything.  EXCEPT MEET MY BABY!  I got my cesarean date confirmed last week - Emersyn will be making her arrival on June 16th!  I am now 36w5d pregnant, so in two days time, I will be classed as full term - and in all reality, I am at the point that I just want to meet her.  I'm not of the attitude "I'm so over being pregnant" - because I'm not really - I feel quite good physically, minus the rib pain... I could probably handle another 6 or so weeks of this.... I'm just so ready to MEET Emersyn.. so ready to finally look at her, and cuddle her.  Knowing that she'll be here in 16 days time, is such a tease - 16 days, in reality - isn't that far away, but at the same time, it seems like SOOOOOOOO far away.

Gaby and I both appear to be coming down with our first official Winter 2010 colds - being sick isn't really the way I wanted to spend the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy!  I still have so much that I want to do around the house - get the tidying finished, cook a few meals to freeze, but being sick, all I really feel like doing is lying in bed, reading my book - or sitting on the couch, snuggling with my little snuggle bunny (aka Gaby).  I shouldn't complain though, we have both been so lucky with our health, and I think that as long as we stay nice and warm, and don't go out a lot - we should be okay.  

I had my final growth ultrasound, last Tuesday - it was great to see Emersyn again, and to hear that everything looks great.  The amniotic fluid level was fine, the flow through the umbilical cord was fine, organs looked fine - everything was just FINE...  She has been continuing to steadily grow, at the same rate - still in the 90th percentile for weight - as of Tuesday, weighing in at approximately 7lb2oz!!!!  I had a nice u/s tech, and she took time to show me cute things - the fact Emersyn has lots of fuzzy hair, her holding her foot in her hand, her little nose & lips... made me fall even more in love, and all the more impatient to see her up close & in person!!!!!!!

nose & lips... 
I think she'll have chubby cheeks like Gaby did!

profile view

I then saw the high risk ob for the LAST time on Thursday!  I discussed with her, my fears about Emersyn not moving enough - so she organised an NST & gave me a form to do daily kick counts on, and both of those have really helped my anxiety level.  The ob reassured me that the results from the ultrasound, indicated the Emersyn is doing well in there, and that I don't have any need for concern - she told me that she no longer worries I may have GD - because Emersyn is growing steadily, rather than having large leaps in weight.  I didn't mind the thought of having to do the GTT again, but it is definately nice to NOT have to worry about it, because I'm getting somewhat sick of going to & from various health clinics/hospitals every week... even though it is part & parcel of being pregnant, especially in a high risk situation.  

 36w3d belly...

My dear blog, I will try to update you more often - I know I have been neglecting you, but the days seem to go by so fast now, and any thought I have of "I must update my blog", seems to be forgotten within the space of a few minutes.  Quite dreadful really!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Hormones & news stories.. not a good mix

A couple of days ago, there was a fatal car crash, not far from where I live - on a road that I drive down usually at least once a week.  A young man (17) was driving down this particular road - after it had been raining, and he was 'drifting' - showing what a BIG man he was.  Well, this BIG MAN then lost control of his car, went up on the sidewalk - and killed a 4 year old boy and badly injured his 6 year old brother, before smashing through someones fence.  

I heard about the incident on the evening news, and as soon as I had heard it, burst into tears.  What an awful thing to happen to that family - losing one precious little guy, and having another in a serious condition... I kept imagining how it would feel, and all I could do was cling on to Gaby, and thank my lucky stars, that she was there with me - alive...  I also felt immense anger at this BIG MAN - a moments carelessness, stupidity, idiocy - whatever you want to call it, ruined a families life forever - and ended an innocent childs life.

Because the BIG MAN that was driving the car isn't 18, he probably won't even go to jail.  Not for any decent amount of time anyway.  I imagine he will have been strongly effected by the incident, and probably feels awful for what he caused, but at the end of the day, he's going to get a smack on the hand, and probably be allowed behind the wheel of a car again in a couple of years.... for ENDING A LIFE...  It just doesn't make sense.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Rambling reality

Today I got the infant carseat, from my parents house, and got it all set up in the car.

And I cried!

For some reason, seeing that little carseat, safely in the car - made me realise that in less than 5 weeks, I am going to be putting a little baby in it...  That baby Emersyn will no longer be in my belly - she will be 'REAL' - right there for me to cuddle & kiss, to snuggle with & talk to in a silly voice.  All those clothes which are tidily put away in the set of drawers, will be used.  The bassinet which has been in my room for months, will have someone sleeping in it.  

.. Emersyn is going to be here soon, and I am so excited... and I am so terrified...  I can't wait for my life to change...  I am scared that my life is going to change...  I cannot wait for Gaby to be a big sister...  I am not ready for Gaby to be a big sister...

It was never this confusing with Gaby... and I don't know why this time is different.  The confusion isn't a bad thing, and I'm in no way not looking forward, to Emersyn finally being here...  My mind is just slightly blown.....

Saturday, May 8, 2010

In-utero hiccups! See them here!

Emersyn had the hiccups & was moving around the womb at the same time...  Naturally, I HAD to video it!

The free gift that has kept on giving - for 45-ish years!

When we were young, my Nana had a small suitcase of wooden, coloured blocks - that we LOVED, I would go as far as to say they were our favourite of the myriad of toys, at Nanas house.  I remember playing with them when I was around 4 - and I remember watching my 'little' cousins playing with them when I was around 12.  There were rectangular blocks, square blocks, half circle blocks & rectangle blocks with an arch in the middle (obviously the half circle blocks, were cut out, leaving these arches)... they were all painted yellow, red & green... very basic, homemade - but still SO much fun.

A couple of years ago, my Nana & Step-Grandad, moved away from Oamaru, and all the children were invited to come & claim various pieces of furniture etc, which were going to be surplus to requirements, here in Christchurch (they moved from a large 2 storey house, to a small villa, at a retirement village).  My parents were awesome enough, as to claim these blocks for Gaby - and when I saw them for the first time, it was like a blast from the past - in a very pleasant, sentimental way!

Lately Gaby has started playing with these blocks all the time - she makes roads, she makes towers, she makes houses, she makes shops - anything that little imagination of hers desires.  We went and visited Nana on Friday - and I was amazed to find she had a whole bunch of the old toys we used to play with, in her wardrobe, for my young cousins to play with.  We got talking about the old toys, and how fun they were, how much we remember - and then I told Nana that Gaby had taken to playing with 'the blocks' - and Nana was amazed.

She then told me where they had come from...
Her & my Grandfather (who passed away, when Dad was 12) had been driving to [or from] Dunedin, and saw a red netting bag, on the side of the road - they pulled over to inspect the bag, and found the blocks inside.. obviously they'd fallen from a trailer, or something along those lines.  They picked the blocks up & took them home with them...  Dad & his 3 siblings played with them for years.  Me, my sister & our cousins played with them for years.. & now generation #3 has started playing with them - and I plan to ensure that generation #4 & onward also get the chance to play with them!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

4 weeks until.. 6 weeks until...

In 4 weeks time I will be considered full term.
In 6 weeks time,  I will be welcoming Emersyn Lily-May in to the world!

This pregnancy has gone so fast, and I am amazed that I'm already in the 'final countdown' stages!  Physically I'm getting a lot more uncomfortable, particularly my ribs - especially when sitting at the computer.  I'm finding it a lot harder to get myself dressed in the morning, and sometimes wish I could ask Gaby to help me.  Emotionally I think I'm doing good!  I've had a few freak outs lately, but I've been working really really hard, on trying to remain calm and rational, when it does happen - and it seems to work.

I'm enjoying my last few weeks, with it just being Gaby & I... trying to do a couple of really special things each week, so that Gaby realises that she is still just as important to me as ever - if not more so.  I am so anxious to find out what life will be like with two children, if it'll be easier than I expect - or harder... I'm guessing it's like the rest of parenting - a lot of awesome, mixed in with some not-so-awesome.  I think that of anything, I am the most excited at seeing Gaby with Emersyn, for the very first time.  Just thinking of that brings tears to my eyes.  I just can't wait to see the exact second where Gaby turns from only child - to big sister....  Ahhh, here come the tears again!

My cousins girlfriend found out a couple of weeks ago that she is pregnant, and I am so over the moon for both of them!  It wasn't planned, and it's been a bit of a rocky road for them, trying to decide what to do - but today S. told me officially, that I WILL be getting a 2nd cousin around Christmas time!  My cousin is going to be an awesome Daddy - he's worried that he isn't ready, but he's the type of guy you just need to look at, to know that he has what it takes.  And S - she is going to be a fabulous Mama!  She's excellent with Gaby, and told me she has already fallen madly in love with the little one growing inside of her.  It's going to be quite exciting, to welcome another baby into the world, so soon after Emersyn!  I really like the fact that Emersyn is going to have a little 'cousin' (3rd cousin), so close in age to her.  It'd be lovely if they could grow up, nice & close!

New beginnings... there is nothing better!