False alarm.. home & pregnant!

My contractions on Saturday, turned out to be fake labour.. or practise labour.. or my body getting half way there & thinking "na, can't be bothered doing this today".  I had all the signs of labour, however my cervix didn't dilate at all.  I knew it wouldn't - I'm sure my cervix doesn't KNOW how to dilate!!!!

The staff at the hospital, for the most part, were lovely - but I did have a couple of doctors on the Saturday, who made me feel stupid, and as if they thought I was pretending to be in so much pain.  At their 'worst', the contractions were 3 minutes apart and lasting for 90 seconds, and i have to say, if my writhing around in pain wasn't convincing to them, then it must take a LOT to convince them, that someone is in pain!   I felt as if they bullied me into getting a shot of pethadine - they assured me it would make me go to sleep, and I'd wake up without contractions... instead the peth didn't make me go to sleep, and the contractions only served to get worse!!

However by about 8pm that night, the contractions were settling down, still painful, but not as painful, so I was admitted onto the maternity ward for the night.  My contractions carried on, irregularly during the night, and when I woke up on Sunday morning, they began picking up... but only for a couple of hours.  By about midday, I was having one contraction an hour, and they weren't painful.  Eventually at 7pm I was allowed to go home!  The one great thing through all of my experience in hospital, was that Emersyn handled everything perfectly - she remained active, and her heartbeat was showing the variations it should, when it should... that helped me feel a lot less worried about the whole thing!

Was a crazy weekend, but I do have to admit that I'm glad I got to experience some form of labour & contractions...  I am 100% sure about my decision to have a repeat cesarean, but seeing as this is my last baby - it is nice to be able to say that I experienced a little bit of labour/contractions, something that 'normal' women go through.  If it wasn't for my epilepsy, perhaps now I would be a little more likely to try for a VBAC, but the risks of labouring with epilepsy, are too scary for me... even though I'm sure I'd be monitored well.

So now I'm home - Gaby has been at her Dad's since yesterday morning, and will be home in 2 hours, it's been nice to have a whole day to rest up, but I am really really missing my baby girl!  I got her father to ring me at the hospital yesterday, so I could talk to Gaby & ended up bawling my eyes out afterward.  She's going to get tonnes of cuddles tonight when she gets home, that's for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!

potential early labour - hospital here I come!

Woke up at 1am with wierd diarrhoea like pains, but managed to sleep on & off until 5.45am, when I woke up - still with the pains, but worse.  While I lay in bed worrying because Emersyn wasn't moving, I realised slowly, that these pains were coming somewhat regularly, and that whenever I had them, my whole uterus was hardening.  I decided to start timing them 'just incase' - and it didn't take long to notice a pattern!!!

I got out of bed after I'd had 4 contractions, 5 minutes apart - to see if the change of position would help, but it didn't.  I rang my midwife, who advised me to take some paracetamol & see what happened in an hour - or to ring her before the hour, if things got worse.  I then rang my parents & put them on potential-baby-arrival-warning.  The pains did get a bit worse, and started being closer together, so I rang the midwife, and she has asked me to meet her at the hospital at 9am.. which is RIGHT NOW.. but my Dad is taking his sweet time getting ready, so they still aren't here!!!!

The pains are still here, and still regular - I really have NO idea what is happening, it's not as bad as I imagined it would be, but then again, this is probably just EARLY labour, IF it is labour at all!  A lot of the pains I can feel in my back as well, and I have started having very loose bowel movements, so maybe it IS the big event!  If it does happen that I'm in labour, i will be having a repeat cesarean - as planned.  Because of my epilepsy, I have been advised against trying for a VBAC, but now that the time has (possibly) arrived, I think if it weren't for the epilepsy & risks associated, I would maybe try for a VBAC!!!!

My Mum scared the heck out of me, when she said that Emersyn could be here by lunch time... No way jose!!!!

I am presuming I am going to be sent home, but you never know :)  I will update when I can, dear blog... hopefully in a few days time, when I'm home from the hospital!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck!

Appointments galore!

Wednesday I had a midwife appointment, and I remembered just how amazingly wonderful my midwife - Julz, is!!!!  She is so friendly, funny & knowledgable, I always leave her appointments, feeling fabulous!  She got me to explain what had happened on Monday, with my seizure, trip to the hospital etc, and she was sympathetic - especially about the doctor not being able to find the heartbeat (on his ANCIENT DOPPLER!).  We had a talk about what I can expect seeing the high risk ob, and that she wasn't sure if I would see the high risk ob right the way through now, or if it would just be a one off appointment...  I don't mind either way, I am more than happy just seeing Julz, but what pregnant Mama is going to complain about extra monitoring?! 

- my blood pressure is fine

- my urine was free of all nasties (glucose, blood, protein)

- fundus is measuring spot on

- found heartbeat a lot faster than at the hospital, and it was 155-162bpm!

I go back to the midwife on February 9th.

At my m/w appt, Julie also gave me my form to arrange my 19-21 week (anatomy) ultrasound, which I rang up and scheduled this morning, and it is for January 29th @ 9.30am, being a Friday it means that my Mum can come, and I have told my Dad that he is more than welcome to come too - but I'm aware that that might be a bit 'girly' for him.  Hehe. I'm already way excited about it & counting down the days - because I will (hopefully!) get to find out if baby is a girl or a boy!  I don't mind whether it is a girl or a boy - another girl will be awesome, but a little boy will be super special as well.  All my gut instincts have been saying GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL, to the point where I haven't considered that this baby COULD be a boy (besides choosing a name!), and I warned Mum that if it does turn out to be a boy, I may very well faint right there on the table! 

Today when I got back from our day out with Mum, I found that my appointment with the high-risk ob @ the hospital, has arrived in the mail, and that appointmet is for February 4th @ 1.40pm.  I am a little nervous about that particular appointment, because I am sure it'll be somewhat more 'serious' than my midwife appointments - and I'm also nervous because I will be finding out the potential risks that my (epilepsy) medication could have on the baby... my midwife assured me she's had plenty of patients on that medication before, and the babies have all been fine, so I'm taking that as a good thing...

Scary, scary morning...

Background: When I was 11/12 I was diagnosed with nocturnal grand mal epilepsy - ie I only ever had seizures when I was asleep, and would have no idea until I woke up the next morning & felt like I had been hit by a truck, reversed over & then hit again. Was put on meds in 1997 - 2001 I came off them, and was seizure free until April 2007, when I started having seizures again (though this time they weren't the same type of seizure - they were petit mal, but still nocturnal). I was put on the meds again, and then started weaning off them in May 2009 - before we began TTC. I have been fine up until now...

Then I woke up this morning & realised I had obviously had a seizure during my sleep. If I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't have cared, but being that I'm pregnant, I had no idea if it could have harmed the baby, so I went to see my GP, after talking to my m/w... The GP got out their (ancient!!) doppler, and tried to listen to the h/b for about 4 minutes, but the only one he could pick up was mine!!!! He told me to 'not worry' (yea right), but that I had to go up to the Womens' Hospital, so they could investigate further.

I had to drive to the hospital (which was hard when I was freaking out!), and my Dad met us there (me, Gab & my friend).. we found our way to the gyne ward, and had to wait about half an hour to be seen.. the nurse took me in, did my BP etc, and then told me to lie down so we could listen for the heartbeat. Again all I could hear was silence, or my heartbeat... It was the most excruciating wait, but FINALLY she picked up the fetal heartbeat.. I cannot explain how relieved I was... while we were trying to find it, I was going through things in my head, trying to figure out who would look after Gaby while I was in hospital delivering, and how I would tell my parents.. how I would tell Jason... how the heck I would explain it to Gaby...

The h/b was 145bpm, and my BP was fine - the nurse who was doing the doppler, said that baby was hiding really well, and because I'm overweight there was a bit more 'padding' to get through... Because of my seizure I feel as if I have been hit by a truck, and my

So now I have to wait to find out what to do about my epilepsy. A lot of anti-epileptic medications are unsafe during pregnancy - and I would prefer to not go on them, but at the same time - if a seizure can put the baby at risk - I don't exactly want to have to worry about that either......

 Update:  I spoke to my GP, who spoke to the neuro at the hospital, and they both believed it was in my best interests to go back on my medication.  There is a risk to the baby, being on the medication - BUT there are also lots of risks associated with seizures during pregnancy (to the baby, to me)... so either way there is a risk, but I had to do what I felt would produce the least risk.  I am on a minimal dose of my epilepsy medication (half of what I would normally be on - and then what I'm 'usually' on, is still a low dose anyway), and am also on a high dose folic acid (5mg, rather than 0.8mg).  The doctor told me that the highest risk time, for effects, is 0-12 weeks, and now that I am passed that point, he thinks that I should be fine.  To be on the safe side, he has referred me onto the high risk ob clinic, and they will provide extra monitoring...  So there may even be another couple of ultrasounds in it for me.  I won't complain about that!