Life with a baby in the house

Life with a baby in the house has taken a little while to get used to!!!!  I didn't realise how settled into our own routine, Gaby & I were - and then Miss Emersyn came home and it allllll got tossed up in the air & mooshed around... that said, it only took a couple of days for me to get back into the newborn swing of things - feeding, changing nappies, keeping on top of housework, going to bed 2 hours earlier than normal at night to catch up on some sleep.  It's kind of like I never stopped!

The only difference has been adapting to life with a newborn & a 3 1/2yo....  For the most part, I think we are doing well, but I do feel that I'm somewhat 'neglecting' Gaby - not in the not feeding, not cleaning, not caring what she does sense, but in the affection sense.  It seems everyday I plan to make time *just* for Gaby, where we can do something together, and I can devote all my attention to her, but once the baby is in bed, there is washing to be folded, dishes to be done, jobs jobs and more jobs - and next thing I know it's time for Gaby to go to bed.  Gaby doesn't seem to be displaying signs of feeling left out, or feeling like she's not getting enough love, but *I* am aware of it.  I guess once Emersyn is a little older, my parents will be able to take her for an hour or two, and we can REALLY concentrate on having Mummy & Gaby time.

Gaby is adapting really well to having a little sister!  I doubt she could love her anymore than she does - as soon as Emery-Boo wakes up, Gaby is right by her side & doesn't leave until she's back in bed... she is always wanting to touch her, hold her, cuddle her, kiss her - it is so heartwarming, and makes all the dramas of the past 9 months, seem totally worth it.  Because I'm bottle feeding Emersyn now, Gaby is able to help out with that - and I think that has helped her feel 'important' - but has also helped her start to bond more with Emersyn.  I think that in a few weeks time, when Emersyn is taking more in, and actually staying awake for longer than it takes to give her a feed & change her nappy, the two of them will really start to interact.  I can't wait!

Emersyn's father was down for 6 days this week, so he could meet his little girl & spend some time with her... he was very much the doting father, and whenever he was holding her (which was most of the time), he couldn't take his eyes off her.  When he had to leave on Friday, he cried - which I thought was really sweet, and is a nice change from Gaby's father, who has never really seemed terribly fussed about spending time with her, or not.  At this point, he is going to try and get down every 6 weeks for a weekend - hopefully he is able to manage that, it will be beneficial for him, and for Emersyn... no matter how *I* feel about him, I still want him to be an active part of her life, and someone she knows that she can rely on.  On Friday Emersyn met her Nana, and she seemed very smitten as well!  It's nice to know that even though me & Jason aren't together, that his family can look past it, and be happy to see me, and excited about seeing Emersyn & spending time with her.  Her Nana lives down here, so hopefully she will be a somewhat regular feature in Emersyn's life.

Here are a few recent pictures of little miss Emmy

Balance.. it's all about balance...

I have felt quite bad lately - I have been purchasing a lot of new clothes for Emersyn - albeit second hand clothing - but new clothing all the same... but I haven't been buying a heck of a lot for Gaby, I guess because she HAS clothes, and I'm not in the whole pre-baby "omg I am sooo unprepared" mindset, with her.  So this week, I made an effort to purchase a few items for Gaby - so that she wouldn't feel left out...

... and luckily it worked!  We usually go out on Thursday morning & pick up my various TradeMe (like EBay) auction wins, and Gaby spends time 'ooing and ahhhing' over all the baby clothes, but you can tell she feels a little sad that there is nothing for her.  This week I gave her a package & she looked at me in astonishment "Mummy - this isn't going to fit Emersyn!", so I told her "No Gaby - that's because it's for you!!!", and she yelled at the top of her lungs "THANK YOU SO MUCH MUMMY, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!"... which of course is always nice to hear, and it makes it seem all the more worthwhile, when she shows so much appreciation.

I guess I get a bit carried away, shopping for Em - and Gaby is so good and doesn't say "but I want something too", so I tend to... well, not forget about her - but just put off buying something for her.  With Emersyn's arrival approaching (under 8 weeks to go!), I have realised that I need to start ensuring Gaby feels just as important as Emersyn, and that her needs aren't put to the side, while I have a little fit of 'must get prepared for baby'.  I have made the decision that for each item I purchase Emersyn - I am going to purchase one for Gaby... I think that is fair - it'll help Gab feel like she's still important, and just as special (because she most certainly is!!!), and probably get me into good habits for when Em actually is here!

Super Proud Mama Moment!

For awhile I've been wondering if Gaby has been wetting her nappy during the night, simply because it's a nappy - and that is what you do.  It has always been a little dream of mine, to have Gaby out of nappies completely, by the time Emersyn is born - just to save that extra few $$$ a week.

So, night before last, I asked Gaby if she wanted to wear knickers, or nappies to bed - and she told me she wanted to wear knickers.  I talked to her about how if she wore knickers, it'd mean she'd have to get up and go to the toilet if she needed to during the night, and that if she wet her knickers, she'd get a wet bed as well.  She seemed pretty happy about wearing knickers, so I let her.  Tried to wake her up at 10.30 when I went to bed, so she could go to the toilet - but that child is impossible to wake up!  So I left her, and hoped for the best.  Some point between then and 2am she hopped in my bed with me, and at 2am we were both awake so I asked if she wanted to go to the toilet.  She did - so I took her, and she then asked for a nappy.  I put one on her, we went back to sleep - and when she woke in the morning, her nappy was wet.

Last night we did the same thing, discussed nappy vs knickers, I reminded her about having a wet bed etc, but she still seemed pretty confident about wearing knickers.  10.30 came and again I woke her up - but this time I made sure she woke up, carried her to the toilet, sat her on it.. and she proceeded to throw a huge tantrum.  She got back in bed with her knickers on & I figured I'd just take her when she woke up during the night.  She was in with me by then - and I kept waking up to check that she was still dry - I managed to lose about 50% of my normal sleep, because I was so worried about her wetting!  

But at 6.45am she woke up properly - as did I - and she was DRY!!!!!!!!!!  I was so proud of her (AM so proud of her), and gave her a big hug & kept telling her how great it was, how proud I was of her, that it was such a 'big girl' thing to do....  She then got up & went to the toilet & was on her merry way.....

I'm hoping that this is the beginning of some form of consistently being dry at night - it'd be so fabulous if it was!!!!!!  But it's not something I'm going to force.  If she decides tonight she wants to wear a nappy, that'll be fine..  If she decides she wants knickers, that'll be great!

Late nights = bad idea & 'the whole sleep thing'

We picked my sister up on Thursday, from the airport - she had been in Thailand for the best part of a month, so it was all very exciting, only 'bad' thing was that Gaby had 2 late nights in a row, which inevitably led to a grumpy-over-tired-Gaby!  She was getting so hyped up during the day, that at night she would 'crash', and be a grizzling, screaming, sensitive shell of herself, and of course grumpy Gaby, meant grumpy Mummy - which wasn't fun for ANYONE.  I think the worst part was that even if she went to bed 3 hours past her normal bedtime - she'd still wake up at her NORMAL wake time, so was only getting by on about 8 hours of sleep.

Yesterday she decided a nap would be a good idea - and fell asleep on the couch.  Because I knew how over tired she was, I figured that it'd be okay if she slept...  Was I wrong!  She woke up and then proceeded to be awake until 10pm!  Ugh!  She ended up sleeping in my bed with me, and I'm not sure what time she got up this morning, but I woke up at 7.30am & she was out in the lounge....

I forget how important her bedtime routine is - no matter what else is going on.  If that routine is messed with, then Gaby gets messed up, and then I get messed up - and it usually takes a few days to get back onto an even keel.  She is at her father's today, and is back at 6pm - I am going to make sure she is in bed by 7pm... she has Kindy tomorrow, so no doubt she will be exhausted tomorrow night - and I'd prefer her to be exhausted after a *decent* 'routine' sleep, tonight.....

It's suddenly dawning on me, that I'm going to have to go through this 'whole sleep thing' again, with our baby bean!  When he/s he arrives I'm going to have broken sleep for months, and then the battle to get him/her to go to sleep willingly, rather than fighting it.  I think the most tiring part of parenting IS the 'whole sleep thing' - which is ironic really!  Gaby was a good sleeper, until early this year - when she vomitted in her bed & then didn't want to sleep in her bed for the next 7 months!  It was 7 months of her crying at bedtime, and ME crying at bedtime - and then usually giving in, and letting her sleep with me, because it was the only way she would go to sleep. 

One thing I DID do with Gab, that I will do again, is get baby bean into a bedtime routine, right from day one.  From the day Gaby got home from the hospital, I would give her a bath, we would have quiet cuddles & then I would put her to bed.... and it was like she instantly realised that this time sleep was for more than an hour or two.  She wasn't very old when I noticed that when I would get her ready for her bath, her little mood would change & she would start being quiet, and more relaxed - it was then that I realised bedtime routines are a great tool.  I might not have been able to follow through on any routine, but her bedtime one, for the most part - was extremely successful.