Reminiscing...

My 'baby' girl is going to turn three in 9 days time, and right now, all I find myself doing is thinking back to those early days... finding out I was pregnant, the first u/s, the second u/s, her arrival... her being a newborn, being 1, 2, 3 months old.  It has all gone so fast, and has been such an amazing, wonderful, overwhelming, eye-opening experience - I feel so blessed to have her in my life, and to actually be *someones* Mummy.. to be the one person that she knows she can rely on, without a doubt. 

It really is bittersweet - I miss those days of her being a baby - but at the same time, it is such an intensely 'wow' feeling, to be able to watch her grow up, to hear her talking, to hear her singing, to hear her reading books to her toys (from memory).. to see her getting taller, to see her jumping, to see her running, to see her starting to try to skip...  to see her interacting with other kids at preschool & kindy, to know that she is starting to understand various concepts - day & night, summer & winter, cause & effect...  All these things you know are going to happen, but actually physically *seeing* them happen, first hand - nothing can prepare you for that!!!!

I'm always blown away when I look at her baby photos & compare them to her 'now' photos...  It's hard to believe it is the same little person!

& now we're getting ready to do it all again - I can't wait to experience motherhood for a second time!!!!  As soon as I got up this morning, my morning sickness made itself very much known - as it did when I had to change Gaby's nappy... not pleasant!!!  Symptoms are reassuring though, so I shall not complain (too much!).  My boobs still seem to be a bit sore (to touch), so hopefully that's a good sign!  Everyone keeps mentioning how dark my BFP is now, compared to how dark it was at 4w0d, and the 'twins' word has been mentioned a lot.  I doubt twins can be identified just because of a dark BFP - butttttt I am very curious to know what my HCG levels are doing!  Twins would be a double blessing, and  I don't think it would be seen as a 'bad' thing by either of us - we want another kiddo anyway, so I guess it'd be killing two birds with one stone!

Speaking of HCG levels.. I have decided that I'm NOT going to get repetitive HCG levels done, unless my midwife decides that she wants them done.  If she does, I may just tell her to get the results given to her only - I don't know if I can want the anxiety of waiting for levels to come back & waiting to see if they've doubled like they should have.  The way I figure is that if this little bean *isn't* destined to make it, I would sooner it just 'happen', than to anticipate it through HCG levels that aren't doubling properly.  That said... god I hope this little bean is sticky!