my teeny tiny blob is now 3lb1oz

I had my first of 2-3 growth ultrasounds yesterday... the high risk ob wants me to have them, due to the small possibility I have something wrong with my placenta (which caused the bleeding I've had throughout the pregnancy), and also due to the small risk of fetal abnormalities, from the anti-epilpetic medication that I'm on.  I don't mind needing the u/s - I would sooner know if something isn't looking good, than find out after she's born - or have something serious happen toward the end of my pregnancy.

Emersyn was looking fabulous!!!!  She now weighs approximately 3lb1oz, placenta, cervix & amniotic fluid were all looking really good.  I had a feeling everything WOULD be fine, but as usual (for me anyway), there was some pre-ultrasound anxiety & a little paranoia going on - but as soon as I saw her wiggling around on the screen, I knew everything was A-OK.

I see the high risk ob again on Thursday, and presume I'll find out when I will have my next ultrasound, but I'm picking it'll be at around 34 weeks.  My last appointment the ob said that if this one came back perfect, that we would skip the 32 weeks u/s & do one closer to 36 weeks.  Much as it would be lovely to see Emersyn again in 4 weeks, I don't mind if I have to wait until closer to 36 weeks.

It has been amazing to watch Emersyn grow, through my seemingly regular ultrasound.  My first was at 5w6d  & she was barely there.. a tiny little speck on the screen.  8w1d there was an obvious 'head end' and a 'tail end' - but no real definition.  12w1d she looked like a human!  A very obvious head, eyes, mouth, nose, legs, arms, fingers, toes.. a beautiful sight!  19w2d she had grown a lot since I last saw her, and we saw her kicking her little legs, punching with her arms - and got to see that she was a girl.  23w2d - even more growth, her face looked more clear, her movements more precise... amazing.  and then yesterday - 27w5d, we got to see her yawning, poking her tongue out - and kicking herself in the head.  She'd also doubled in weight since the last time I saw her!  It's special to be able to watch this little human developing....

& speaking of the little human, here is a profile picture, from yesterday's ultrasound

Emersyn Georgia-May, 27w5d, 3lb1oz approx

Sadly, last night our precious kitty cat - Fluffy, was killed by a hit & run driver.  A lady who lives over the road happened to be out for a walk and saw the whole thing happen, and got a friend of hers to alert me.  She died almost instantly, so didn't suffer too long.  I did think however that Gaby would suffer for a long time, and had no idea how to tell her.

I ended up just being honest - I told her that someone in a car had hit Fluffy when she was crossing the road, and that Fluffy was now dead - that she wasn't breathing, or moving, that she couldn't run around with Gaby anymore, that Gaby wouldn't be able to play with her, and that she'd be getting buried in the ground at Nan & Poppa's.  I waited for the tears...

No tears followed.  Instead she gave me these little gems....

- "Fluffy is naughty because she didn't look before she crossed the road, and that's what happens if you don't look!"

- "Wow!  Fluffy died really well!!!!!"

- [regarding Poppa digging a hole in his garden for Fluffy] "I want to have a hole too!!!!!!!"

.... she certainly knows how to make light of a sad situation!

Little trip away..

We spent Friday/Saturday at a glorious little place called 'Tikao Bay'... we were very secluded, and it was really lovely!  We went with Mum & Dad, and met [Great] Uncle Steve, his wife Linda, their daughter Tahna, and Steve's eldest daughter - Sharlene there.  it was the first time in a long while that we've spent a decent amount of time with Steve, Linda & Tahna, so it was really nice to have the opportunity to catch up with them!

Gaby had a blast, running around, exploring the area, playing down at the little beach (when the tide wasn't in, anyway) - and there was a huge shed there, which had an abandoned tractor in it, so Gaby had a tonne of fun playing on that!  We didn't do anything specific there - we sat & caught up, we went for little walks, and really just RELAXED, which I think is something we don't do enough of!  It was sad we were only there for 24 hours, but at the same time, it was nice to get home... although I'm sure we could have all handled another night there!


Here are a few photos from our 24 hours, they'll help give you an idea of how gorgeous our surroundings were - and how secluded we were...

Gaby & Nan checking out the scenery, when we first arrived

Gaby getting ready to test the water,

looking out toward Akaroa

Gaby, loving on Nan

Looking across the little beach

to one of the points, across the bay

Poppa, checking out the scenery

Sharlene fishing, 

looking down other end of the bay

(toward Akaroa)

 The sun starting to come up, 

on Saturday morning

Super Proud Mama Moment!

For awhile I've been wondering if Gaby has been wetting her nappy during the night, simply because it's a nappy - and that is what you do.  It has always been a little dream of mine, to have Gaby out of nappies completely, by the time Emersyn is born - just to save that extra few $$$ a week.

So, night before last, I asked Gaby if she wanted to wear knickers, or nappies to bed - and she told me she wanted to wear knickers.  I talked to her about how if she wore knickers, it'd mean she'd have to get up and go to the toilet if she needed to during the night, and that if she wet her knickers, she'd get a wet bed as well.  She seemed pretty happy about wearing knickers, so I let her.  Tried to wake her up at 10.30 when I went to bed, so she could go to the toilet - but that child is impossible to wake up!  So I left her, and hoped for the best.  Some point between then and 2am she hopped in my bed with me, and at 2am we were both awake so I asked if she wanted to go to the toilet.  She did - so I took her, and she then asked for a nappy.  I put one on her, we went back to sleep - and when she woke in the morning, her nappy was wet.

Last night we did the same thing, discussed nappy vs knickers, I reminded her about having a wet bed etc, but she still seemed pretty confident about wearing knickers.  10.30 came and again I woke her up - but this time I made sure she woke up, carried her to the toilet, sat her on it.. and she proceeded to throw a huge tantrum.  She got back in bed with her knickers on & I figured I'd just take her when she woke up during the night.  She was in with me by then - and I kept waking up to check that she was still dry - I managed to lose about 50% of my normal sleep, because I was so worried about her wetting!  

But at 6.45am she woke up properly - as did I - and she was DRY!!!!!!!!!!  I was so proud of her (AM so proud of her), and gave her a big hug & kept telling her how great it was, how proud I was of her, that it was such a 'big girl' thing to do....  She then got up & went to the toilet & was on her merry way.....

I'm hoping that this is the beginning of some form of consistently being dry at night - it'd be so fabulous if it was!!!!!!  But it's not something I'm going to force.  If she decides tonight she wants to wear a nappy, that'll be fine..  If she decides she wants knickers, that'll be great!

Gaby's exciting news...

Yesterday I got a phone call from the administrator at Gaby's preschool, and it turns out that a place has opened up in the Flintstones part of the preschool - which is the LAST area of preschool, before they start school - and they would love Gaby to take the place!!!!!!!!

It's bittersweet.. when she started out, she was a Muppet Baby... then she went to the Pooh Bears... then she moved on to the other end of the preschool & became a Bananas In Pyjama's kid.... and now.. *gulp* they want her to move in with the big kids... she's getting so big, and old and... she really isn't my baby anymore!  Of course it's also very exciting, that the teachers feel she's ready to make the move, I didn't think she'd be moving there until she was closer to 4 - she's not even 3 1/2 yet!!!!!  

Like I said to my parents - the next step after she's been a Flintstone, is SCHOOL!!!!!!!!

eek!

100 days to go!

Today I am 25w5d pregnant - and according to my ticker, have a mere 100 days to go, until Emersyn's due date!  I guess technically I only have 86-93 days to go, because I'll be having a c/s @ 38-39 weeks, but still... 100 days until my actual EDD is pretty cool!  

I am feeling good, a little more uncomfortable in bed at night, a little more uncomfortable when walking around, or standing around... but in general I feel rather good!  I presumed I'd have had sciatica by now - I had it from about 15w with Gaby, but so far, nothing!  My appetite is back, however I am finding it increasingly harder to be able to eat a decent sized meal... I often find myself eating about 1/4 of my meal, putting it in the microwave - and then going back a little later for more.. and I guess that's the way to do it about now!

As far as I know, Emersyn is doing well.  She is still active and kicking me - which is lovely, nothing nicer than feeling her kicking in there, to make me feel positive, and like this pregnancy is going to have a positive outcome. I know that a lot of people by this point, won't be expecting anything to go wrong, but with my anxiety, past losses - and I guess also through knowing various members who've had late losses & stillbirths, on JM, it does make me realise that things are never for sure.  All I can do is take it a day at a time, and that is what I'm trying to do.

I am however 110% that I don't want any further pregnancies, and that I will be getting a tubal ligation at the time I have my cesarean.  I don't feel that it is fair to put Gaby - and Emersyn, through 9 months of having a stressed out, anxious, terrified mother... 9 months is a long time in the life of a child, and I know I wouldn't feel right if I spent that time concentrating on something that *could* happen, rather than spending the time enjoying my two girls.  I need to talk to the obstetrician at the hospital when I go for my next high risk appt, as they are going to schedule my cesarean - and will be the ones who say yay or nay to my request for a tubal ligation.  My midwife seems to think they won't have any issues with it, being that I'm 26 & (will) have had 2 children by that time... and then adding in my history of (early) losses, my anxiety & depression... she thinks it won't be something they'll fight me about.

Can't believe that next week I'll officially be in the 3rd trimester!!!!!!  Seemed like a lifetime away, back when I found out in October... but the weeks seems to be speeding by, I'm sure the point will come where I will wish that time could slow down a little.  End of the day though, I can't wait for June, and to hear those first cries, from my baby girl.  

*cue the tears*

Gaby & Lily - BFF's! (onto the next stage of development)

Gaby has her first official BFF! (Best Friend Forever).

There is a little girl at her preschool - Lily, and Gaby has been talking about her for a while now, and a couple of weeks ago said to me "Mum, Lily is my best friend!".  It was the first time I'd heard her mention 'best friend' or anything of the sort, and almost made me cry a little, because it means she's moving on to a whole other stage of her social & emotional development!

I took Gaby's profile book home from preschool last Wednesday, and in the back was a story about Gaby & Lily (they take photos of the kids & write stories explaining what they were doing)... In this story, Gaby & Lily were going to the beach, but first they had to go to the supermarket to buy bread, toothpaste and toilet paper, eventually they made it to the beach.  Was really really nice seeing the photos - it was like being given a glimpse into Gaby's life at preschool.  Her and Lily were both wearing the dress ups - shoes with a little heel, big floppy hats & dresses over their normal clothes... VERY cute.

It's so amazing to actually notice a change in Gaby's development.  Studying early childhood education for the 2 years I did, and then human development for a further year, I learnt a lot about the various theories of human development - it was something that really interested me, and I managed to keep it all in my information bank....  The biggest change in development I have noticed, is Gaby's play & choices are becoming more 'gender appropriate' - at preschool she is now crazy about Lily, rather than her boyfriend Kayne, rather than playing on the bikes, she plays in the family corner, plays with the dolls, dresses up... & I've noticed she's also very much into the "I was the Mummy and Kayne was the Daddy", whereas a few months ago, she would have been the Daddy & Kayne might have been the Mummy.  I guess now is an important time to try to not label various jobs, activities, roles as 'for girls' or 'for boys'....

Cool JM feature, that I had no idea about!

I rarely look at the right toolbar on JM, which contains links to various tools, articles etc... however when I saw one about fetal development month by month, I clicked on.... and then noticed a link entitled "Pregnancy Week by Week" - I am very interested in reading week-specific information, so this link seemed like a must-click-link to me!

It is awesome, very well set out and has a lot of interesting information, about how you may be feeling physically & emotionally each week, about various things you should be thinking about, or talking to your LMC about at that point of pregnancy

this is the link:
Pregnancy - Week by Week / JustMommies

I am now bookmarking this link & will use it as another way to countdown the final weeks of this pregnancy!

High risk ob update - a positive one!

I had an appointment with the high risk ob clinic, on Thursday.  I wasn't looking too forward to it, considering my last appointment there, was such a let down - and such a hassle, with the ob being a total schmuck. 

My appointment was for 2.20pm & around 2.30pm I was taken in - and the ob I saw was a different ob from last time!!!!!  She was lovely - very friendly, and spoke with me, rather than at me - she also spoke at my level, rather than muttering all these medical terms and acting like I wasn't even there.  She asked how I'd been, told me it's great that I've had no further bleeding, and that Emersyn's movements are stronger.. she then did my b/p etc, and all was well.  When it came time to listen to the heartbeat, we were listening for 5 minutes!  She kept picking up the h/b, but it was 'background' noise & she took her time finding the h/b in a position where it was the loudest sound - she then did a trace & her h/b was around 150bpm.  Absolutely perfect!

I expected I would be told I could leave after that, but then she started discussing my growth ultrasounds with me.  Growth ultrasounds?  I had no idea I was going to have growth ultrasounds - and told her so, she was very surprised the ob I saw last time hadn't thought it was important to do some growth u/s from 28w onward - didn't surprise me though.  She said that the bleeding I had, although it was related to the BV, it could also be related to an issue with the placenta, that wouldn't start becoming obvious until I was closer to my EDD, and also with my epilepsy medication, there is a small risk of fetal abnormalities, so she also wanted to monitor for that reason.  So from 28w onward, I will be having growth u/s every 4 weeks - at 28, 32 & 36 weeks.  She said that if the 28w u/s shows everything looks great, then they will probably skip the 32 weeks u/s, and do one closer to 36 weeks.  I don't mind either way though - I get to see Emersyn 2-3 more times before she is born!

So all in all, it was a great appointment :)  I go back in 4 weeks for my next appt (and will probably have my u/s a couple of days prior)....

Kids say the darndest (most embarassing!) things

Gaby has always been very talkative - I have always been so proud of her language development, to be honest, it has blown me away.  However I learnt today, it does have its downside...

We were at our usual Friday visit to the mall with Nan (my Mum) - Gaby told me she wanted to go to the toilet.  The parents room was busy, so I just took her to the normal public toilets & stood at the door while she did her business...  All of a sudden she YELLS out to me:
"Mummy - I just did poos that was so big, it splashed my bottom and vagina!!!!"

... I heard a few giggles & a few gasps from the surrounding stalls - naturally the toilets were full, so probably around 15 people heard this little outburst....  Gaby came out looking very proud of herself, and then when a couple of ladies were pointing at her & laughing, she said to me "Mummy why are those ladies being nosy??"... I quickly washed her hands and we bolted out of there...  But I'm sure she left a lasting impression on every person in that public toilet!